The nuclear family is bullshit
It shouldn't exist
Mothers have to watch Oprah
to understand their kids,
pop pills to deal with
how much their children hate them
Why is it commonplace for teenagers to suddenly loathe their parents? What is it about our society that encourages children to cut the umbilical chord with their teeth and spit it out with words of fire? It is the ingrained sadistic, neoliberal, capitalist society that teaches us we must cut our ties, sever our roots, in order to start a volatile bubble of our own.
As I discussed in my last post, once children reach teenage years, their bubble bursts. Though many children are exposed to the harsh realities of life very early on, I would argue that typically white, middle to upper class, suburban children are shielded as much as possible from reality. Their existence is a construction, their poisons of society are concealed. Once a teenager, their is a sudden realization that they cannot be an astronaut or a superhero or a princess just because 'you can do anything if you put your mind to it'.
LIES.
Maybe that is why so many teenagers are depressed. Their dreams are shattered with no warning. Their parents cannot protect them from any and everything, but rather are the one's who lied to them throughout their entire childhood.
How do we protect our children without being liars?
The nuclear family discourages community. How many people in suburbia actually know their neighbors? If there was a major disaster, could they rely on their neighbors for support and care? It is no wonder suburban teenager are depressed and empty inside, they were only raised by two people (or one). They say it takes a village to raise a child. I believe this to be true. No two people can give a child all the love and lessons they need. When parents get stressed out and have problems of their own, the child must watch and cope, for there is no one else to comfort them.
The nuclear family traps people, and creates a problematic power relationship and unequal division of labor. There is a dichotomy between the public and private sphere, no matter where the value is placed. What is more important work? your middle management accounting job or your wife's domestic labor? Perhaps the man stays home and does the housework and cares for children and the woman works a full-time job, there is still a value judgement placed on the labor, and an unspoken scrutiny about the 'switched' gender roles. The roles are still in place, they are simply reversed.
Oh I know! Let's solve the problem by hiring a Mexican immigrant to clean our house and watch our child for cheap! Then we can both work, make plenty of money, and have an equal power relationship! that solves everything, right?
Wrong. Even if the woman is not undocumented, perhaps she is a 'legal' Mexican American woman or an African American woman, their still an extreme power imbalance. How is it that the only way to create gender equality within a nuclear family is to exploit a woman of color? It is incredibly rare to see a white upper middleclass family with a white nanny.
This is the product of capitalism. Capitalism thrives on exploitation and it must be reproduced in the family structure in order for it to survive. If exploitation is reduced within the family, it must be outsourced to another person; an already exploited woman.
The community should raise everyone's children. Why can't neighbors watch each other's children for free when they aren't busy? Break down those white picket cages and open your arms to your community! There is no community in white suburbia. Everyone lives for their own little bubble family and good riddance to everyone else. We must combat this and show children they will always have someone to care for them, that their care does not depend on race and class privilege.
Everyone deserves a big, loving family with a myriad of personalities and lessons to share. Why not leave your front door open more often?
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